The last stronghold of discrimination in America? Babies who Breastfeed.

It's sad to say, but it really feels very true. Ask any mother who's been subjected to this form of - dare I call it such - discrimination. Babies are the last socially acceptable class of citizens in America that it's OK to discriminate against. After all, they shouldn't get hungry in public. Ever. Especially if their mother is the type who wants to, or has to breastfeed.

Can you imagine using the following excuses about a black man?

• "My children shouldn't have to see a man with dark skin while out shopping. Or eating their dinner at Applebees(Denny's/Mc Donald's/Olive Garden/etc). I mean, that's just nasty."
• Or how about this one - a personal favorite. "Why can't he just go eat/shop/rent a movie/etc in the bathroom if he wants to - you know - be black out in public?"
• Or another great 'here's-your-sign' statement: "I don't mind him being black, as long as it isn't showing. He should cover up if he wants to be black in public."

Seriously. How quickly would comments like this get you (rightfully) fired, laughed at or punched? But pick on a innocent baby and suddenly it's ok. Suddenly every. single. one. of those statements is coming out of the mouths of supposedly educated adults with hardly a blink.

This post is being written in response to the the recent incident about a nursing mother who was forced to leave Target. The comments and response has been interesting. Do any of the commenters realize that the issue is not whether anyone saw any booby, whether she COULD HAVE gone to the restroom or the car (in December Michigan weather) or whether anyone "complained". The issue is SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT AND THE INITIAL CONTACT FROM THE SECURITY GUARD WAS ILLEGAL.

And let's call it what it was. DISCRIMINATION. The ONLY reason there was even an issue in the first place is because that baby was breastfeeding. Period. And THAT is discrimination.

And until it is treated legally as such, we will continue to see innocents suffer when their mothers are shamed, hassled and treated as second-class citizens for doing best by their babies.

Now you may laugh and say - come on, Angela, you are exaggerating. But I'm telling you - anyone who has, like me, been the victim of this type of discrimination it is EXACTLY the same.

No one would gossip about my husband to find out how to prevent him from attending church events with his Hispanic-ness. Or quickly enact an entire church policy to "nip this in the bud" lest we offend someone who is racist. Yet all of these things, and more, was done to protect people from knowing that my 6 day old baby ate food. Go figure. You can read my written response to their discrimination here. Incidentally, despite their illegal policy and unethical behavior, my husband and I never received ANY response, never mind an apology.

Like I said - it's still socially-acceptable to discriminate in this way.

And I wonder what it will take to change this? How can a mother with a nursing infant be expected to go to Rosa Park extremes to raise awareness of the desperate need? What will finally get the attention of the general public and sway public opinion I wonder? I have no answers here - only questions.

Thoughts?

On the Road to Type-A-Mom Conference

So instead of heading out early, early this morning, my mom and I decided to go ahead and drive out last night since we are both night owls and prefer driving at night to trying to get up early in the morning.

So - quick change of plans - and we started loading up kids and things. They didn't have much to say about it, as you can see.

Isn't Micah adorable? He slept very well all night.

Mom drove until 3:30am with me awake as co-pilot keeping her company. The truth is we probably would have been awake that late talking anyway - we may as well have the miles behind us as we chatted and caught up. Sidney slept all that time in the back seat (Thank you, Jesus, for our new-used mini-van!) and when we pit-stopped/fueled up at 3:30 he took over the driving.

Mom slept in the back seat and I semi-slept in the passenger seat. When I woke up at 6:30 this was the view I was greeted with. I have to admit that the hills and trees of Tennessee are very beautiful.

We arrived in Memphis just in time to hit the morning traffic, the kids to start stirring and grumbling about being hungry. So we stopped at a grocery store and refreshed our ice chest, found a local park (Thank you Motorola GPS!) and let the kids run wild for an hour while we ate and rested and enjoyed a bit of liesure.

Now we're back in the car somewhere around a hundred miles from Knoxville which means we may arrive in Asheville well before dinner time! Anyone else want to join us for an evening of just hanging out and snacking and chatting and recovering from the trip?

My Weekend Offline

So over the course of the past week I had been working like crazy helping Kelby and finishing preparations for Type-A-Mom Conference. It's the first vacation I've been on with three kids where I am packing as both "Mommy" and as "Speaker/Professional". It's two very different mindsets, to be honest, and the juggling act was giving me headaches.

Nightly.

Friday I checked my email. Barely. And then I didn't do a thing about it. I mean I looked at a couple of the important looking ones and deleted the spam. Then I went and gave two massages. And hung out with my family. And completely rearranged my entire living room. And bought some new makeup. And got presents for the family party we were having the following day. And wrapped them even. *gasp* The day before I was giving them - amazing!

I stayed up late talking with my husband. We played Monopoly on my cell phone (don't laugh - it's so much fun). Reconnected after two weeks of me practically living on the computer.

Saturday was the family party. My portable laptop battery lasted just long enough for me to again check my email and reply to the very most urgent, sign up for the Muse Writing Conference Workshops I wanted to take, and clear out all the spam, etc from my inbox. Then I walked around the mall with my kids. We ate Annie Pretzel's and toured Build-A-Bear Workshop. I found some great bargains at Waldenbooks. I worked on a quilt I had started when my firstborn was an infant (4 years ago!) and made GREAT progress on it!

In short - I was online for maybe 15 minutes total Friday and Saturday and it felt GREAT. I really, truly, needed the break. It was almost a relief to just unplug for a little bit, as much as I love you all.

I feel refreshed and ready for the conference later this week. I even finished sorting the odd socks so my kids will have socks to wear! Ha! See how much you can accomplish in a weekend offline? Sometimes for your sanity sake you just have to hit that power button off and walk away. Trust me - the world won't end and you just might get a project done you've been trying to work on for awhile.

The Bravery of First Steps - You Have to Stop Crawling in Order to Walk

I was given the opportunity to participate in a Stride Rite giveaway and review campaign and jumped on the chance to get a pair of shoes for my daughter, Brianna, who recently outgrew her only pair of "church shoes". She's hard to shop for because many of the dressy little girl shoes are too narrow for her wide feet - something I hope she doesn't hate later. Funny how moms worry about that kind of thing for our kids, isn't it?

Stride Rite's Facebook Page is full of testimonials from parents who have trouble fitting their children properly in shoes, but have success with the flexible sizes available through Stride Rite. And they are hosting a giveaway! More about that at the end. We were encouraged to write about our children's first steps. An easy thing to do for me because that's ALL I've been thinking about lately.

Micah turned a year-old last week and is to that stage where he probably COULD walk on his own, but crawling is still easier. It's had me thinking a lot about the symbolism there. It is easier for Micah to crawl. He's good at it. He gets anywhere that he wants to go, regardless of whether there is support to catch him if he loses his balance. He gets crumbs off the floor if I haven't swept up after Evan and Brianna in the last 20 minutes. He really has it made.

Why then is there this drive to change? Why do babies know what so many grown-ups have forgotten - risking the fall, letting go of the support and stepping out for yourself can bring a whole new world of possibilities.

Evan was already walking by this point. He's always been ahead of the game physically - tall for his age, throwing like a "big boy", climbing things he should NOT be able to climb on top of yet, etc.

Brianna wasn't quite walking at a year old. She was so tiny and petite - still in 6 month clothing though perfectly healthy in every way. Just small, like I was growing up. Now she's fast - almost as fast as Evan, but tends to trip and stumble over her own feet. I was glad to receive the Stride Rite shoes with the Sensory Response Technology (SRT) in the mail yesterday because I think they might help her increase her body awareness and equilibrium.

Meanwhile, Micah is teaching me yet again that my recent changes and "new steps" are definitely the right thing. As he stands and looks at me wondering if he dare to take a step, and I cheer him, "You can do it! You'll love it! I know you can do this!" I am hearing the voices of my sister-bloggers around me....."Angela, you can do it. You're on the right track. Yes, a new site is scary but you'll love it. I know this is your first conference to speak at but you'll love it! Just wait until after you've taken those first steps!"

And so I, like Micah, am learning to let go of my easy support, and simple crawling. We're both stepping out and learning to dust ourselves off along the way. Will you join us? What new steps are in store for you? And most importantly, are you willing to stand up and stop the comfortable crawling, in order to see the new world before you?

Enough rambling - on to the giveaway. Stride Rite is giving away 5 pairs of shoes, sizes 3-8 infant/toddler (including medium and wide). Each pair of these SRT shoes is valued at $50 retail. In order to enter please visit and fill out this form - easy as that!

Are the shoes worth it? Well I can tell you, when she put on her Stride Rite SRT shoes yesterday Brianna spent the rest of the evening jumping and running about. Usually this behavior would result in at least two or three stumbles, falls, pop knot or puffed lips and last night we didn't have ANY accidents. She loved the new shoes so much she refused to take them off for bed time. She told me she was going to pray in her bed so that was like church and she needed her "new church shoes". How adorable is that?

Preparing for the Conference - a Family Vacation!

So I'm the kind of person who loves to take my kids with me everywhere. Yes, I am THAT mom. Sorry if it annoys you, I just happen to like my children. And think that they can get as much out of an adventure in a cave, museum, movie or concert as I can - in their own way of course.

All this to say - my family is coming to Type-A-Mom with me. Which means I get to prep for myself as a speaker and networker, AND prep for my family as a mother. Yeah! :-) Fun. Goody. See my previous post about the million-bajillion hats of a mommy blogger. Nuff said, right?

So far my preparation has been finalizing my clothing sponsorship with KikaPaprika (Cannot WAIT to introduce the company to you in detail), and filling in the bare spots elsewhere. Like shoes. I went shoe shopping for the first time since I bought my current tennies 2 years ago. I think the previous shopping spree for my feet was back in Texas before we moved here!

I managed to snag a cute pair of sandal-heel type things (I'm sure they have a special name), a pair of low-cut sneakers that can dress up or down, and a pair of red loafer things that are super cute. I love red.

Now that I have a new, working clothes dryer I am finishing the mountain of laundry that grew out of control. Then the beginning of the packing process and finalizing the traveling plans. Almost here! I cannot wait!

Still to do - Make sure I have enough activities for the kids in the car, since we are DRIVING out to North Carolina. A 12 trip if we drove straight through but we are talking about traveling with three children. There will be no lack of stops, I'm sure. :-) Any tips from you wise women on traveling long distances with a year-old baby, a 3 year old and a 4 1/2 year old?